Sunday, March 29, 2009

Just writing what the membrane concocts.

Not very happy. My life is not an open book, but sometimes I wish some people were curious enough to read a few of its chapters. I may say I have the greatest friends, whether old or new. But I am still lonely. Love seems so bland nowadays. People say it as if its the hottest abbrevation in AIM slang. Love isn't like "TTYL," or "IDK!" Something simple to write to abbreviate what you are trying to say. It should be said fully. And it should mean something unlike "LOL," where in reality you are not really LOL. Someone close to me said that I don't know what I want. People don't know what they want. Well, what happens when you have so much and yet you are still so unsure? What else could you need? Dr. Seuss said that you know you are in love when you would rather live in the real world rather than in your dreams. I'm still living in a dream, Dr. Seuss. When will I wake up?


JacqueRoxx said...

What happened??

Cee Frizzle said...

You know when sometimes you feel like being depressed because being happy can be a hassle? And then gradually, as your day progresses, you begin to have something to be depressed about? Its sort of like that.

I feel lonely. I do have great friends that I love talking to but I know that no one really gets me. Seriously, Not one person besides myself. And its like, I shouldn't be depressed because thats what happens to everyone. But even though I know it, it sucks, you know? Why isn't there someone you can just let all your secrets and worries and joys and sadness and anger out to?

Everyone limits themselves from saying something. Its sort of an instinct. But it sucks ass, cuz sometimes I don't wanna limit myself, you know?

You do things that you soon realize are so dumb and retarded and yet you do them again without realizing. Its like, why can't i just change the bad parts of me that CAN be changed?!
Sorry if this is confusing.

JacqueRoxx said...

Yeah I know exactly how you feel because sometimes I feel the same way. Like I have to work at being happy. I like my friends too, but there are periods where I can't stand them because I feel like we're all just being fake. I just can't be my true 100% self around them and I assume they feel the same way. Then when I get home from school and I'm alone I sit back and wish that I would find someone who understands me the way I understand myself. But it's just not possible, because none of us truly can be ourselves around eachother. It's like life is a perpetual act.

Cee Frizzle said...

You took everything from my mind and placed it right here. Isn't it frustrating? Its like we're displaying a fascade. Some people do get us, but they don't GET us. They try, but not hard enough to seriously break that mold. And it sucks buttcheeks, my friend. Major buttcheeks.

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