Tuesday, July 28, 2009

Whats so Great about Jay and Bee?!

Everyone is drooling for this picture and I am just looking at it. I'm trying so hard to find out what metaphor or interesting capability it has to my noggin . . . but I fall short. Yeah, Jay's walking out of a hot ass car. Um, yes? So? Sure, Bee has nice heels on! I would slide the card for a pair. But . . . why is that astounding? I mean . . . I am seriously trying to figure this out like a mathematical equation, and I failed math in school. So can someone tutor me in this?! Por favor!


Thursday, July 23, 2009

Solange fooled us for a nanosecond . . .

Oh, poo.

Turns out Solange is not letting the public watch as her hair grows out natural, as much as I had hoped. She was seen rocking this wig at this party for Dita Von Teese.

Tay (Blog: Something Different), you were right.

Inhale . . . LARGE SIGH / LETDOWN.

Solange's BIG CHOP!

Your thoughts?

Picture courtesy The Fashion Bomb Blog

Saturday, July 18, 2009

Introducing: Shani, my skank whore

Sound the trumpets! Perr per perrrrrrr! Ding dong ding! I thought it would be polite to use some instrumental music to introduce to you the girl who is my best friend in the wizzorld. My mini me. My skank whore. My hamburger. The crackers to my cheese . . . SHANI ASHLEY! Whoooo! Yaaaah!


"Cynthia, who the EFF is this?"

Well, glad you were nice enough to think about asking that question, because I will answer before you get the chance.
This, my dear bloggers, is my little sister. She's not little anymore. She's a big girl! No more pampers. But she's still my little sister..

I used to despise this little girl. Very much. VERY MUCH! I'm the middle sister, OK? I've got an older sister who is four years older than me, and then, just when I thought I was the baby in the family, at the age of four, I got a surprise: Shani! I was excited of course. And she was one cute baby! I would go crazy! You know, beg my mom to change her diaper or beg my mom to push the stroller and all that jazz(hands).

But then, Shani started to grow up.

But the time she was 3 and I was 7, we were sworn enemies. We would pick fights, beat each other up, yell at each other, try to get each other in trouble . . . oh man. It was bad. And Shani was the biggest cry baby known to mankind! My GOD! No one could take it! NO ONE!

But you know how they say keep your friends close but keep your enemies closer? Thats just it. Though me and Shani fought like hyenas over a juicy ass steak?

We were the best of friends.

We played dolls, we played Camp (We tied our comforters on our bed posts and made it look like a tent and brought all of our stuffed animals in and pretended they were at a day camp), we played pool (We filled the bathtub and swished around as if we were in a pool), we played house, we played movie stars . . . we did everything! And it didn't matter that she was so much younger than me. She was my companion! If we weren't fighting, we were playing. And if we fought, it only took us a few hours to become friends again.

And as we got older, the fighting stopped . . . not all together. It decreased.

But now . . . she seriously is the one person in the household I can tell ANYTHING to. She is my beeyotch. My right hand Sam. I love this whore.

TIDBIT: I'm gonna be mega sad when I study aborad for a year and leave her. Sigh . . .

Friday, July 17, 2009

Ginny, My How You've Grown . . .

I haven't seen Harry Potter yet.

And if I don't see it soon, I might shoot myself. I've been trying to finalize my suicide note. It's coming along great! Someone buy me a ticket before I publish the note on my blog. Please. PLEASE!

Anywho, this is Bonnie Wright aka Ginerva "Ginny" Weasley aka Ron's little sister aka Harry's new tap buddy aka girlfriend aka the woman he marries and has kids with in the last book. If you didn't read book 7 when it first came out and I just ruined it for you then pish posh. Your fault. Who doesn't purchase the last installment of the Harry Potter saga the day it comes out?

Abort A Baby Cuz of Michael?!


I pray this is fake.

Rihanna's Buzzzzzz Cut

You know what is so mind boggling? Cassie did it, but she looks like a cacatoo, LaLa did it and she is a biter, Kesh started it (BTW, she cut the top half of her hair off. Pics soon!), Teyana incompleted it, and now Rihanna has changed it.

This buzzcut thing is really taking a toll in the beauty industry.


Tuesday, July 14, 2009

Should Men Have Fatties?

DID YOU SEE IT?! Please tell me you watched Sunday's new episode of "True Blood," to witness the sexiest tap action I have seen on television. IT FINALLY HAPPENED! Tara and Eggs did the freaky freaky. Their inner freaks came out and freaked each other. And boy did I bite on my pillow and pulled on my hair while it happened. Soooo hot.

Not to mention that beautiful ass! Mehcad's bootay is so scrumptious. I swear by it. So, speaking of booties . . .

I've asked many of my friends what are some physical qualities a guy should have. Many said the usual: nice abs, strong, muscular, big dick (wah wah wah), amazing lips, a dagger tongue, gorgeous eyes, beautiful skin . . . but when I ask them if a man should have a fattie in the back, they look at me with deer-in-headlights, like I just cursed Jesus out or something. Then one goes, "Um, why the hell should a guy have a big ass? Thats just . . . no. Not right."


Personally, I like a guy with an ass.

I have a great friend of mine, Jaiden* who has a really nice derriere. It doesn't show because of his pants. But one day, he hit my ass really hard and to get him back, I returned the favor. And when I did, I just felt the cheeks. Nice, big cheeks! And then another time, he was bending down and I saw the firmness of his ass through his boxers, and I said, "You have a fattie! Gee whiz, its so beautiful!" He laughed and said, "Shutup, no I don't!" Then I sneaked up behind him and squeezed it. Gosh, it filled my hand! Sooooo fat!

And while watching that beautiful episode of "True Blood," I saw Tara clasp her hands on Eggs' ass and I was just in awe because his ass is so . . . excuse my french, JUICY! Succulent, if you must. A guy with a fat ass is great. Especially one like Mehcad's or Jaiden's*. You can just grab it and feel that juiciness. I mean, if men love looking at our fat asses, why can't females love scoping out mens fat asses?

TIDBIT: I think thats why I love football players. a) because I have a huge thing for bone crushers. I love them. Ughhhh. b) They have fat asses. Take Reggie Bush for example. FATTIE!

Sunday, July 12, 2009

Annoying Ass People

You know the type of people I cannot stand at all? Like, the type I have zero tolerance for? My deepest apologies if you are one of these people, but I just think it's high time I speak about this.

The type of people that dedicate their away messages / facebook statuses to their lives.

I have a good friend of mine who spills off a ton of nothings on her away message. One minute she feel so empowered and is all, "I don't need him. He doesn't know what he's lost. I can find a man whenever, wherever." Next thing, two hours let's say, her away message is all, "I can't do this. Why did you do this to me? My heart is aching. I don't feel like myself. I gave you my heart and you won't give it back."

You can't do it? I CAN'T DO IT! It drives me insane. Alright, you are caught up on a person, but why do you have to write all that bull kaka on your away messages, especially when this person HAS YOUR AIM! Like, dee dee deeee! Its obvious, though, why someone would act so immature.

She wants the person to see how she's feeling.

See, girls love to do this to themselves. They act all tough but when they really think about it, they realize that they are supposedly weak without this dude. And they act desperate and sad in front of the guy, or in her case, in enough of a view for the guy to see, via AIM. Sweeties, word of advice: Yeah, don't do that.

Guys are not worth it. Believe me. I just want you to know that we are the superior ones. Seriously, we are. Think about it. A guy won't come up to us unless he has a reason to. A guy can't go out on a date unless we verify it. A guy can't have our goodies unless we say they can. And we will LET them. We don't give it up like a dozen glazed Donuts at Dunkin. Without us, guys would not be. Sorry to do this, but it was Eve who convinced Adam to eat the damn apple. If it weren't for Eve, who God made because Adam needed a companion (WE WIN AGAIN!), then we wouldn't be born because Adam wouldn't have a tap buddy to have tap action with and they would not have reproduced. So kudos, Eve you skank bitch.

So making yourself look weak and pathetic not only makes the guy laugh at you and lose every ounce of respect that he ever had for you, it also ups his game by making him feel that the girls will swoon over him and he won't see how much he loss if you won't give him the opportunity to show that really, you are better off without him.

AND! The girls and boys who go haywire and dedicate their away messages / facebook statuses to their honeyboo's, saying "I LOVE MY HUBBY / WIFEY! 00/00/00 THE DAY WE MET! YOU COMPLETE ME! I WILL ALWAYS HAVE YOU IN MY HEART BLAH DEE BLAH DEE BLAHHHH!

Shut the fuck up.

I'm sorry if you are one of those people, but, come on. We understand how much you love this person, but flaunting it as if they already put the ring on your finger, you went on your honeymoon and had three kids is not cute. Or interesting. Its annoying and unnecessary. Its fine if you put the day, month and year you met (Like we need a circa), but all the other stuff . . . you become one of those girls who we want to shoot because you won't shut up. Your conversations become useless. Your time become useless. Your presence becomes useless. Why? Because all the conversations, times and presences is about you and your jigaboo. So, like I said.

Shut the fuck up.

Stop rubbing it in that you have the greatest boy in the world, because he might be saying, "Damn, why is this girl so serious?!"

And seriously, why are you?

Saturday, July 11, 2009

Nomination for 2009 Black Weblog Awards

Heh hehhh .

Hi guys . . . how was your day? Hm? Just chipper and awesome? Did you soak up tons of awesomeness with your pals? Hm?

Oh . . . oh, ok. Thats good. Glad to hear.

And because you soaked up awesomeness, I've got a surprise for you. OOOOHHH AHHHH! "Waddu get us, Cynthia?"

Well, I got you this!

My site was nominated for a Black Weblog Award!

YAY! Ain't it awesome?


OK. Lemme cut the crap cuz I love you blog reading folk. Sooo I'm nominated for a blog award. Please be the biggest sweetheart known to mankind and just vote for me, please. And if you don't feel like it, then thats OK.

But that hurts my feelings.

You don't want my feelings hurt.

No, I'm not trying to bribe you.

Is it working?

HAAAAA! Love you! Just vote. Trust me, I will feel so much better! Yeah, I've been feeling under the weather lately . . . oh poo.

So, vote, OK? And comment, telling me you did. Well some of you don't even comment anywho so it would be nice ot show your face! POR FAVOR! S'IL VOUS PLAIT!

Wednesday, July 8, 2009

Lick My Boot!

So I'm thinking of making make-up videos. You know, posting them on youtube and then on here . . . OK, that and natural hair care. But here's the thing.

I'm still learning in both categories. I'm still learning how to use color with my make-up and I'm learning new ways to treat and style my hair. So as I make these vids, you will all learn, too!

Um . . . topics to come soon:

1) There's this guy . . . tee hee!

2) More Top 10 lists

3) I'm gonna stop gossiping. Like posting stories you can find on YBF. com or some other shaninigans. Its gonna be hard, and I will post a few gossip titles here and there, but I will stop with all of it in general . . . or am I making sense. Grrrr.

4) I'm not gonna be fully personal, but I will let you guys in on my life. Just a tad. A tad! Because I really don't know who is reading exactly. I can never be too sure or too careful.

5) I'm trying to lose weight, so this will also be a progress blog for me.

6) DO NOT FRET! I will make sure this blog is just as interesting as it is to my followers!

7) I love you, followers. Really. It brings me satisfaction and joy that you even read my posts. Or comment. I'm up to 56! Trying to get more but I'm satisfied!

8) I need to stop hiding behind the camera and just get in front of it. I haven't taken any photos in a long time! So my posts will have photos to back them up, feels meh?

ERM! . . . thats it really.

Its so hot right now I'm just trying to wrap this up mega quick. My fan is broken and the lights are beaming down on my head. My hair is in a plastic bag with a cover cap over it (its deep conditioning) and my computer chair is leather. I cannot be in any more deep doo doo then I already am in.

And I'm pretty sure I just jinxed myself. Hm. Time to take a cold shower.

SEE YOU ALL LATER! When I have something to blog about!

Monday, July 6, 2009

Trailer for Diablo Cody's "Jennifer's Body"

If you've seen "Juno," and is a fan of the Showtime series, "The United States of Tara," then you know the brilliance that is Diablo Cody, who is the writer of these beautiful pieces of work. She's back with a horror/comedy starrring my (Wo)man Candy, Megan Fox, Amanda Seyfried (the retarded Karen in Mean Girls), and Adrien Brody.

It's about a cheerleader, posessed by a demon, who eats boys. No, really. All jokes aside? She eats them. Devours them. Like a fat kid to a chinese food buffet. DEVOURS, MY DUDES! Guess who's the cheerleader? So it's up to the cheerelader, Jennifer's, best friend Needy, who is played by Seyfried, to stop her from doing something so heinous.

You know what? It looks interesting as hell. It looks like something to make you laugh but something to make you go, "WHAT THE FRUCK?!" Which is just what we need nowadays with horror movies because they are shiteous to the T!

Here's also a lil' note from Diablo herself, and the trailer below that. BTW, you have to be 17 and over to watch it. I'm not trying to be a parental cop, I'm saying this because the trailer asks you to put your birthdate in, 'kay? 'Kay!

“Fox is putting a trailer of Jennifer's Body in front of Bruno this Friday. Great, right? Only problem is it's not our trailer. It's kind of a straight
horror preview and while we're sure it'll appeal to many of you, we wanted to make sure you guys got to see our cut... Lets call it the “filmmaker's cut”. We think it captures the comedy and scares of the horror films we grew up on―a kind of nostalgia for when horror films were fun. Can't wait to show you the whole film... In the meantime, here's the red band trailer we wanted our fans to see.”
-Diablo Cody

Friday, July 3, 2009


I wanna throw up something fiercely sickening, cuz looking at this turns my eyes inside out.

Top 10 Ways To Wreck Your Hair

I stopped this four years ago. Huzzah.

Stopped a good four months ago, but I used to flat iron the front of my hair to create bangs. And that shizzot now has the front of my hair as straight as heteros.

Still working on this. I moisturize with Infusium 23 Moistur(isme). I LOVE IT!

Working on this, too . . .

I don't go to a salon. I should start, but I haven't been to a salon since four years ago.

I'm doing OK with my ends . . . ::looks around::

HA! I don't comb as much! I do it every 3-4 days! I'm a huge fan of the co-wash and go.

Haven't done ponytails in a while and I haven't worn braids since the cavemen days.

Does anyone know where I can purchase satin pillowcases? Cuz my closet is stacked with the cotton kind . . .

Gotta oil that crap up like the Tin Man.

Anything you realized that you are doing to wreck your hair?

WTF, Amber Rose!

Absolutely extraordinary.

Wednesday, July 1, 2009

Drake's "Best I Ever Had" video: EXCLUSIVE!

Disappointed. Absolutely disappointed. Kanye directed this?! This is . . . disgusting. I didn't even wanna watch the rest. I couldn't focus on the song! Like I'm seriously sitting here trying to see what went wrong, I mean . . . huh? WHAT WAS THE POINT?! I was wishing for a sweet video. Something cute. But this is bull kaka!

Katy Perry At Her Gorge-est

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